RE: Probably the saddest, most pathetic thing I've ever experienced.
September 30, 2020 at 10:08 am
(This post was last modified: September 30, 2020 at 10:10 am by The Grand Nudger.)
When parents come to believe that their role is being undermined, rightly or wrongly, they start to have all kinds of bad thoughts™ about whomever they think is sabotaging that relationship. We could sit here for days talking about all of the ways people read these situations wrong and then do harmful or hurtful things on account of that initial misappraisal - but to buck the trend and talk about the silver lining hiding in plain sight, as you put it (or as they put it) - they're jealous. They're acting out because you have something that they desire, that thing being what seems to you and/or to them to be a better relationship with their child (who's figured out that clever little real dad™ thing that sends non biological parents into a tizzy, lol).
There are kids whose parents really don't give enough of a shit to get jealous.
What your sister and her boyfriend may be missing here, if the kid holds you in a position of high esteem, is your immediate value to strengthening their relationship with the child, of increasing their status with the child, of your utility as a third party to address and maybe even change their child's perception of their relationship with him. They're more likely to get what they want, what makes them jealous, with you as an advocate rather than adversary. You could be the voice of his parents in whatever discord there is between them in a much more effective way than they could speak for themselves.
There are kids whose parents really don't give enough of a shit to get jealous.
What your sister and her boyfriend may be missing here, if the kid holds you in a position of high esteem, is your immediate value to strengthening their relationship with the child, of increasing their status with the child, of your utility as a third party to address and maybe even change their child's perception of their relationship with him. They're more likely to get what they want, what makes them jealous, with you as an advocate rather than adversary. You could be the voice of his parents in whatever discord there is between them in a much more effective way than they could speak for themselves.
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