Credible/Honest Apologetics?

[Neo-Scholastic]

If I may...have you considered the texts of the Church Fathers, such as Augustine and Thomas Aquinas, and early mystics, like the author of Cloud of Unknowing? The mystic do not do apologetics in the same way as the Scholastics. IMHO they are guideposts to experience more than exposition, which is just another human strategy for knowing...through image and symbol. That includes Swedenborg, Blake, Bohem, among others. You also have historic sermons like John Edward's sinner before an angry God for the hard core Reformed.

For modern stuff, you might try David Benteley Hart for the Orthodox perspective. Online StrangeNotions.com has lots of approachable articles and for more academic philosophical reading I regularly visit maverickphilosopher.

Ultimately, it depends on your intent. If you truly want to understand various Christian perpectives then you will gain much from the above. If your goal is to justify your deconversion, then I wish you luck. I was an atheist until I started to comprehend what I was blithly dismissing. YMMV