Morality

[arewethereyet]

I can't relate to that exactly but I have been in let's say manipulative relationships, and there comes a point, if you get wise to it (and you're in a position to do something about it, which sadly you wouldn't have been as a kid but I was as an adult), that you realise that there's another choice and that is to step back and refuse to play their games. It reminds me of the scene in the film Labyrinth; Jareth, the Goblin King says 'just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave' and Sarah looks at him and says decisively 'you have no power over me'. That's how I approach the notion of God as well, that if it has to resort to cheap manipulation, of carrots and sticks, to be worshipped, it's not worth worshipping and I would, at least like to, treat it the same as I would any other manipulative relationship. Would I cave on the big day, maybe, who knows, but one thing it could never get through manipulation, or fear, would be true respect.

@arewethereyet

I'm sorry if my example here missed the mark or was TMI. I was basically just trying to agree with you that love/respect should have to be earned not just granted by fiat, whether in regard to absolute laws of the Bible, such as honour thy parents, or in regard to the notion of God as a whole. And also, I didn't mean to come off as insensitive, if I did, to how powerless you must have felt... in my case even though I was an adult it was still not easy to get out of these situations, because I'm not the most assertive of people IRL, and am or at least was, easily manipulated/taken advantage of. So in my case though the dream/ideal was to look them in the eye and say those immortal words 'you have no power over me', the reality was much less courageous; I walked away and never spoke to them again (read, ghosted them). So no real closure there, but still felt empowering to do that.

You have nothing to apologize for.  

My point with the religious concept of honor they father and mother was key in me leaving it all behind.  As a young kid I couldn't understand why I was being treated like I was and why all the praying I did to god and Jesus and the Virgin Mary did no good at all.  I went through a time of thinking I must deserve the treatment I got because otherwise one of them would have done something to help me.  When a little older and venturing out into the world more, I observed that not all my friends were living like I was.  Then I really questioned WTF.  That was back in the day before there was Child Protective Services and what went on in someone's house was the business of the adults in that house.  The only thing I could turn to was prayer and that didn't work.

Things I went through sucked, a lot.  But I made it through and didn't pass that crap on to my kids.  Dad and I had a few 'come to Jesus meetings' about things in his last couple years.  While it didn't fix things, I learned that his parents had treated him much the same and he didn't know that many of the things mom told him were lies.  It was just screwed up all around.  It sure didn't inspire me to think prayer worked.  Just another false hope draped in the ceremony and incense of the Catholic Church.