Is the suffering worth it

[FrustratedFool]

[...] the bottom line is that I am now addicted to caffeine, and I just have to live with it, for better or worse.

Addictions can be broken.

Eitherway, its predetermined and not in any way controllable.

This is an unsupported claim.

True.  But you will have ceased to be, and that's a subjectively bad thing, is it not?

Who exists to experience this subjective badness you assert?

True, I haven't supported that claim here. I don't think freewill can exist under a materialist/physicalist worldview. Do you agree with that, but just reject materialism, or do you think it can exist under materialism?

As for who experiences subjective badness, prior to death I (laying aside the issue of identity persistence) experience the negative emotions associated with believing a substantial loss is immanent. After death there will be no I to experience the loss itself, because I will have lost myself (though others may be upset at my dying). The loss only negatively affects me whilst I exist) and others afterwards). But that's a 'bad thing' I'd rather not occur.