Is the suffering worth it

[Thumpalumpacus]

True, I haven't supported that claim here.  I don't think freewill can exist under a materialist/physicalist  worldview.  Do you agree with that, but just reject materialism, or do you think it can exist under materialism?

I see the universe as materialistic, but don't think it's been shown that that means every particle's position is utterly predictable. I don't know much about the wave function of quantum mechanics, but even if that won't allow free will, I'd think chaos theory could perhaps allow for it. I just don't know.

As for who experiences subjective badness, prior to death I (laying aside the issue of identity persistence) experience the negative emotions associated with believing a substantial loss is immanent.  After death there will be no I to experience the loss itself, because I will have lost myself  (though others may be upset at my dying).  The loss only negatively affects me whilst I exist) and others afterwards).  But that's a 'bad thing' I'd rather not occur.

People die in their sleep, too. I get it, the process of dying is scary -- but there are exceptions even to that.