The Absurd GOP

[Rev. Rye]

Apparently, his criteria for "full blown autism" are that the person in question is A) non-verbal, and B) incontinent*. And presumably, they'd have to be walking around malls, and many of the malls that haven't closed are moribund.**

*Note: Despite having some correlation with autism, incontinence is not actually considered a symptom of autism.
** Recently, I actually did an informal survey of the malls I used to go to when I was younger. Of the ones I remember: 

• Golf Mill is so broken down that the only food available is a Teriyaki chicken place, plus one wing is entirely blocked off from the main mall due to a weird design in one of the anchor stores. It's apparently due to be closed down fairly soon, but there's no set date.
  
• Northbrook Court isn't quite as dire as Golf Mill, but less than half the stores are open, and it's apparently a glorified indoor dog park by this point.
  
• Lincolnwood Town Plaza is evidently doing fine (or at least it looked fine when I went there for my "Elliott Smith Didn't Kill Himself" shirt. More stores seemed open than not, but not by too large a margin.
  
• Gurnee Mills and Woodfield Mall, while I didn't do much research, seemed to be doing alright. If the maps are any indication, there's far more stores open than closed, particularly at Woodfield.