RE: An Interesting Commentary on Gaslighting Women
January 11, 2012 at 7:30 pm
(This post was last modified: January 11, 2012 at 8:20 pm by Jackalope.)
(January 11, 2012 at 5:07 pm)Shell B Wrote: If a woman won't tell you what is wrong, it is either because she is suffering depression and doesn't know it or she doesn't want to tell you what is wrong.
I suspect this is largely true of men as well, though the motivation for not wanting to is likely different.
(January 11, 2012 at 6:59 pm)padraic Wrote:Quote: it's simply because I find most people to be superbly stupid.Unless you have an IQ in the genius range,that is a demonstrably false belief. It actually says far more about you than others
I realize that was slightly tongue-in-cheek - but I know where Cinjin is coming from (and based on his interactions here, I suspect that his IQ is in the superior range [though I bet he's too modest to admit it]). I prefer not to characterize such people as stupid however.
I can't relate on an intellectual level with most people - my observation is that the average person doesn't think on more than an superficial level. Most of the people I associate with voluntarily are of above average intelligence (some exceptional). It isn't that I wouldn't like to relate to most people, I actually would - but most mundane conversation doesn't really hold my interest. When you don't have anything in common to talk about (at an intellectually stimulating level), it makes it hard.
It's not always a question of intelligence either, oftentimes it's a matter of education / knowledge / interest. I don't have much interest in talking sports, what's on TV, or popular culture - and it seems that for most people, that's where their interest lies.
On the other hand, I do know people who are in most ways quite average, but have shared interests where their knowledge or ability stands above the crowd, and with respect to those shared interests, I can relate well. One of my best friends doesn't have a excess of intellectual capacity (that's my nod to PC for the day), but I'd trust him with my life, he has superior "common sense", and is interested in intellectual topics even though he lacks the capacity to understand them fully.
It's the logic-challenged and willfully ignorant that get me. That, and those that are walking, breathing examples of wishful thinking and confirmation bias that really get to me.
On the other other hand, I find a lot of people in the superior and gifted intelligence range to be unbearable. Groups like Mensa don't appeal to me for this reason.
(January 11, 2012 at 4:57 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: Though I have to disagree with the everyday expression. I've never run across a woman who couldn't tell me what was wrong. I do regularly come across men who WON'T.
Yep, men can be like that. I think that traditionally, men have been conditioned to be tough and stoic. Which is bullshit, of course - men are no different than women in that they have emotional needs, and it's awfully hard to express them when you've been conditioned to keep it bottled up.
Overcoming this has been personally difficult - I've spend a lot of time in therapy to learn to be in touch with my emotional self. Although I have always been a deeply emotional person, it was never comfortable to me and I learned to repress my emotions. I don't recommend doing that, BTW - it's incredibly harmful in the long run. I could write a lot more here, but in the interests of not derailing the thread, I'll save it for now. Suffice it to say that life is a lot better (and easier) when you're on good terms with your emotional identity.
