I was a Christian for 30 years and the urge to pray comes frequently. Sometimes it's just because I need a sounding board so to speak. I used to talk things out with god and it made me feel good. I actually figured things out this way. Talking things out helped straighten things out in my mind. Now I realize that all those times I thought I was talking to god I was actually talking with myself. With this in mind I still talk things out in my mind, I just know now that I'm just talking to myself not to god. No harm done. The results are the same.
Some times I want to pray simply because I want to abdicate responsibility. I don't want to be responsible for a bad decision therefore I let god decide. If the decision turned out to be a bad one I could blame it on myself for not listening to god properly or I could believe that god really wanted me to make this bad decision and in the end it will work out for my benefit. Either way god is now responsible for the decision not me.
Other times I feel the urge to pray because of situations that are out of my control. After praying I'd get a feeling that god had things under his control and, good or bad, things would just work out. Some times I just needed to let go of the anxiety. Other times I just wanted to believe that god will answer my prayer and supernaturally fix things that I had no control over.
Now that I've given up the ghost so to speak I have serious problems with are the things I have little or no control over. I haven't found a way to deal with this yet. It really suck sometimes.
Some times I want to pray simply because I want to abdicate responsibility. I don't want to be responsible for a bad decision therefore I let god decide. If the decision turned out to be a bad one I could blame it on myself for not listening to god properly or I could believe that god really wanted me to make this bad decision and in the end it will work out for my benefit. Either way god is now responsible for the decision not me.
Other times I feel the urge to pray because of situations that are out of my control. After praying I'd get a feeling that god had things under his control and, good or bad, things would just work out. Some times I just needed to let go of the anxiety. Other times I just wanted to believe that god will answer my prayer and supernaturally fix things that I had no control over.
Now that I've given up the ghost so to speak I have serious problems with are the things I have little or no control over. I haven't found a way to deal with this yet. It really suck sometimes.
I have studied the Bible and the theology behind Christianity for many years. I have been to many churches. I have walked the depth and the breadth of the religion and, as a result of this, I have a lot of bullshit to scrape off the bottom of my shoes. ~Ziploc Surprise
