Fuck it...I'm drunk.

[The Magic Pudding]

Well I must say you are bunch of boring drunks, no one is singing Khe San or whatever your equivalent is.
No body has gotten a tattoo or a piercing.
No body is doing anything I have to politely avert my gaze from.
This is particularly disappointing 'cause I've been practising my furtive glance.
Make up doesn't look smudged or clown like.
The lounge has no damp patches to avoid.
No one has said "luv ya Pudden yor me best merrr err oh sorry"
If I was a suspicious person I'd doubt any of you are drunk at all.

I'm not drunk at the moment so I can't access the great insights dying synapses usually spark. So I'll Google some.

There is a lot on this page. They might not all be up to this high standard though.

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Next time I come back here I expect to see a bit more spirit in this thread and in your glasses. Drink up, this thread needs you to sacrifice some brain cells.