OK, so I just came out

[kılıç_mehmet]

Let them hate us as long as they fear us, said Caligula, this should be the motto of everyone who goes up against his enemies.

That was in Roman times in reference to war. I don't really think it should be applied in the current context nor do I think that Caligula intended for it to be used so.

Why not? I have always applied the same context to my enemies as they have applied it to me. Have I not felt the cold breath of a person I won't name on the back of my neck each time I went to sleep? I have applied the same to him and others.
However these were not fears of losing my reputation. What I'm suggesting is a rather innocent form of generating discomfort in another person. As there are cold winds between you, I guess it should not be hard for you to undermine her reputation without feeling remorse or pity.
Besides, as far as I'm concerned, Caligula used these words in reference to his political enemies, although the enemy always hates you, whether he fears you or not. You must always assume that your enemy hates you and will try everything to bring you down.
Similarly, you must show him no mercy unless he begs you for it.