I Would Like To Talk to Atheists Who Aren't Assholes. Do Any of You Exist?

[Angrboda]

I don't think you will find that the research bears out your informal conclusion. There is an excellent review paper on the question of systematic differences between believers and unbelievers by a man named Zuckerman, and I can surely hunt up the reference if you like. On the whole, my personal perspective is that people on the whole are mostly like other people, allowing for considerable variation of course, but if you're finding consistently systematic differences that support your personal prejudices, you may be seeing the backside of cognitive biases. Cognitive bias is nature's way of constantly telling us, "I'm okay, you need some fucking Prozac." I'm free basing here, but nature does not appear to have had it in her plan for different kinds of people to get along together. To do that takes work. But I think it's most often worth the effort. We're a social species, we learn from "being with other people," and people who are different offer different possibilities than people who are like us.

Regards atheists' attitudes being counter-productive, atheism doesn't mean you want to convert non-atheists. Some do, certainly. But that's an option, and not an intrinsic part of atheism.