Quote:On the positive side i can report the following unexpected benefits:
- My pain threshold has almost trebled
- I can now pass urine in 3 positions: standing, sitting and curled in a ball weeping.
- using a shammy leather and some wax I was able to polish up my ballbag enough to act as a signal for passing ships, saving me from certain starvation one time when i was stuck on a desert island.
Quote:Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
Quote:In truth I was quite looking forward to it, rubbing creamy gel into my private parts didn't sound unpleasant. People pay for that kind of service. So I put a dollop onto my hands, rubbed them together to warm it up and applied it to my hirsute undercarriage. I confess here, for the benefit of others, that I did apply some to parts that weren't actually hairy.
In my minds eye was a pleasant few minutes rubbing, followed by a gentle rinse in warm water from the measuring jug, with my tackle hanging over the rim of the sink as it had so many times before when being shaved. Afterwards, there would be Dave and the Twins, hairless but with none of that sharp stubble that my wife complains about.
Reality was altogether different. The first thing I noticed was that Davey's head was getting warm, then it started to swell. I made a mental note to avoid putting any here in future. There is no chance of me forgetting my mental note as within 2 minutes the warming sensation had turned to a burning pain that had me scraping as much gel off as possible with the nearest hand towel. Now it was time for the Twins to register their discomfort, by hiding as far inside my body as is possible and turning my ball-sack into a concrete bunker.
Davey and the twins? Now I feel I really must name my equipment. But how to top that? Any ideas? What are some good names for ones privates?
