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Current time: January 27, 2021, 1:06 pm

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Welcome to Hell
#1
Welcome to Hell
A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He's really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor.

He thinks to himself "I know I lead a wild life but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this." Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.

Counselor: What's the problem, you look depressed?

Guy: Well, what do you think? I'm in hell.

Counselor: Hell's not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whiskey, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much a you want. We party all night long. You'll love Mondays. Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart's desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?

Guy: Well in my younger days I experimented a little.

Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That's drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don't have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?

Guy: Yes, I love to gamble.

Counselor: You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?

Guy: Uhh...no.

Counselor: Oh , you're gonna hate Fridays...
Intelligence is the only true moral guide...
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#2
RE: Welcome to Hell
tut tut tut tut tut tut tut....so not pc.
HuhA man is born to a virgin mother, lives, dies, comes alive again and then disappears into the clouds to become his Dad. How likely is that?
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#3
RE: Welcome to Hell
Just depicting the bullshit behind hell and the people who believe in it....Tongue ...
Intelligence is the only true moral guide...
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#4
RE: Welcome to Hell
I like it! I have one question, though. Is Friday just gay day or is it, um, "Ouch, that's my bum!" day? Because, if it's the former, Hell is far worse on straight men than women. It looks like Satan's as 'fair' as god, eh?
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#5
RE: Welcome to Hell
Lol! I've totally heard it somewhere. I can't remember where, though. Awesome, nonetheless.
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#6
RE: Welcome to Hell
Fuckin' Fridays.



Literally
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
---------------
...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
---------------
NO MA'AM
[Image: attemptingtogiveadamnc.gif]
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#7
RE: Welcome to Hell
(May 8, 2010 at 8:36 pm)Watson Wrote: Lol! I've totally heard it somewhere. I can't remember where, though. Awesome, nonetheless.
Me too. Televangelist?Angel
Man is not so much a rational animal as a rationalising one.
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#8
RE: Welcome to Hell
Chicks are hot <3
I'm totally sold!! Big Grin

But, wait! What about Saturday and Sunday? D:

I must know what amazing events take place on Saturday and Sunday!!!!! >[]<
Saerules Wrote:The air, tis wonderful!

Saerules Wrote:No, don't even ask what I just laughed at. I will not tell you what I just laughed at! You may think I'm going to tell you what I just laughed at, but I'm not!
xD
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#9
RE: Welcome to Hell
(May 8, 2010 at 8:29 pm)Shell B Wrote: I like it! I have one question, though. Is Friday just gay day or is it, um, "Ouch, that's my bum!" day? Because, if it's the former, Hell is far worse on straight men than women. It looks like Satan's as 'fair' as god, eh?

Love the idea of 'ouch thats my bum day'
I shall start pinging people on the arse with elastic bands on friday.

I assume thats what you meant.Angel Cloud



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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#10
RE: Welcome to Hell
Nah these are the real 7 :

lust
gluttony
greed
sloth
wrath
envy
pride

Loved that film (Se7en). John Doe reminds me of Tavarish Big Grin ...spose that figures with Tav's warped post Catholic take. Fit's most Atheists here too Thinking Big Grin
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