Hell, or rather my brief experience of it.

[Gambit]

Okay, so God spoke to me personally. Not through a dream, but right out in the open during daylight. I had pretty much the same story as Drich, with a few unimportant variations here and there. God told me that the bible was a frape of sorts, and that Satan perpetrated it. This made sense to me, as while God was telling me, I heard Satan lol and ask of God "U mad bro?" God then called Satan an oldfag and told him to lurk moar. Satan, not even perplexed by God's arrogance, responded with "Do you even lift?"

I know that all of this actually happened because when I woke up, Facebook existed and I was drawn to a page called Cheesus Christ. True story, Bro.