Being gay in China

[Angrboda]

Tianjin is a pretty city. The rubber band on the wrist trick is all too familiar. When I was in my early twenties, depressed and failing college (and with sexual issues on top of everything), I decided to cave in to conformity and rid myself of the "crazy thoughts" inside my head. I wore a rubber band on my wrist, and when my "crazy thoughts" thoughts came up, I would aggressively snap the rubber band against my wrist to distract myself from thinking those thoughts. (And I used other thought stopping techniques.) Surprisingly, it worked, for a time. The crazy thoughts became less frequent and less invasive and less compelling. But then a few years later they came back again, with a vengeance and panic attacks. (They always come back, no matter what I do.) I guess whether it's a predisposition to homosexual attractions or to psychosis, there's no fighting nature.


Thank you, Germans. You are a valuable and irreplaceable resource.