Handy chart of Gospel contradictions re: resurrection story

[CleanShavenJesus]

I expect a perfect God to have the ability to communicate a single, consistent message to four people,

He did.

something even the dumbest electronic device can do flawlessly. When I post this message, it will appear identically for everyone who chooses to read it (I daresay it will be more than four), regardless of whether they believe I am real or agree with what I have to say.

If your God is unwilling or incapable of that, the problem isn't my understanding.

Consistent /= identical.

First off, God should be able to deliver one message to all of them. How they made those kinds of errors with the same message from God is beyond me.

Second, they're not consistent! Even if you were to argue that consistent doesn't necessarily mean they'll be identical, the accounts aren't very consistent at all.