The story of Noah' s Ark - or - God is dumber than you.

[onlinebiker]

Noone who believes the story of Noah' ark understands logistics.

Here's why.

God' s problem -  too many "wicked people".

So - he enlists an old guy and his kids to build this really, really big boat out of wood. With nothing but hand tools. Bear in mind it would take days just to fell one tree and saw it into planks or beams. It would take many, many years to cut this wood - and they will need a place to cure the wood - so a building to put it in.... When they finally get all the wood cut, stored and cured - they get to lay the keel of the boat. But first - you need to build a building in which to build the boat. You can' t take years building a boat out in the weather. The wood would begin to rot before your boat was completed.

In the meantime - you have to go start collecting the animals and a habit big enough to house them. You can' t simply stick them in the boat. Their waste would rot the wood in short order - and it would take YEARS to collect all these animals. Don' t forget to feed and water them too...

So your God is going to have to get involved on all sorts of levels - keeping basic biological needs and chemical reactions in check.


Then when ready - God needs to conjure up 40 days and nights worth of heavy rain - and then un- conjure it back away....

Or -

If he was really this omnipotent bastard he is supposed to be - he could simply wisk a couple thousand wicked people off into deep space....


Which seems more a more efficient method?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Answering your objections:

-Depending on which lunatic sources you look at, it took Noah about 75 years to build the Ark.

-The Ark was built of cypress wood and pitch, which solves the rotting problem - no shed needed.

-Noah didn’t need to go collect the animals - God brought the animals to the Ark.

-The whole thing becomes acceptable once you understand that it was a holy miracle and is not to be questioned.

(Please note: I don’t believe any of that tripe, just getting ahead of the apologists).

Boru

[onlinebiker]

Nope... Wrong answer.

It's made of gofer (commonly mistranslated as gopher) wood. An unknown species.... Cypress was known and if it was cypress they' d call it cypress...

Apparently all the gofer trees drowned - or got used up in the ark.....

[Fake Messiah]

Did you ever see this?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Like I said…

Boru

[zwanzig]

Did you ever see this?

The best.

As per the topic, Noah's ark is one of those less than compelling things to shoot down. Half the time, apologists acknowledge it's ridiculous or they view it as just a story. When I was a theist, I don't think I genuinely believed in that part of the Bible, so, since becoming an atheist, I kind of stop at "God thought killing everyone was a solution" as far as arguing against the stupidity of it. The boat would have to be too big to float. Yep. The boat wouldn't be big enough for animals and resources. Ayep.

It's just a bit boring when skeptics really get into it, "No, REALLY, it couldn't have happened." I suppose because it's one of those things... I probably believed Noah's ark when I was 6 or 7. So, if a grown adult is arguing with you and they really believe Noah's ark really happened and it's hard to convince them starting from "God thought it'd be a good idea to kill everyone" ... Well, that's the barometer and you know what level of reality vs delusion you're dealing with, then.

[Ahriman]

It's an allegory, has nothing to do with real life, was never intended to be taken literally.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

It's an allegory, has nothing to do with real life, was never intended to be taken literally.

Allegories are pretty cool, but I always get them confused with crocodiles.

Boru

[h4ym4n]

Noone who believes the story of Noah' ark understands logistics.

Here's why.

God' s problem -  too many "wicked people".

So - he enlists an old guy and his kids to build this really, really big boat out of wood. With nothing but hand tools. Bear in mind it would take days just to fell one tree and saw it into planks or beams. It would take many, many years to cut this wood - and they will need a place to cure the wood - so a building to put it in.... When they finally get all the wood cut, stored and cured - they get to lay the keel of the boat. But first - you need to build a building in which to build the boat. You can' t take years building a boat out in the weather. The wood would begin to rot before your boat was completed.

In the meantime - you have to go start collecting the animals and a habit big enough to house them. You can' t simply stick them in the boat. Their waste would rot the wood in short order - and it would take YEARS to collect all these animals. Don' t forget to feed and water them too...

So your God is going to have to get involved on all sorts of levels - keeping basic biological needs and chemical reactions in check.


Then when ready - God needs to conjure up 40 days and nights worth of heavy rain - and then un- conjure it back away....

Or -

If he was really this omnipotent bastard he is supposed to be - he could simply wisk a couple thousand wicked people off into deep space....


Which seems more a more efficient method?

I saw on the noah arc documentary, staring Russell Crowe, that they used rock monsters to do all the heavy lifting.

That's true, isn't it?

[zwanzig]

It's an allegory, has nothing to do with real life, was never intended to be taken literally.

Yeah, see? ^^^

Half the time, you put all this work in with arguments only to get back, "No duh." At least with the Noah story.