What was it like being an atheist?

[Mister Agenda]

One of these things hasn't changed.

I am not miserable now. I spend several hours a day meditating on the Christian faith and sharing with others. I promise you that I get great joy from it, I never feel frustrated, I feel a deep sense of groundedness and peace in my soul, my doubts are gone, the problems I used to see in religion I have overcome.

Yet, you come here and frequently say horrible things about people you don't know.

I am happy whenever I think about God, because I feel such a sense of freedom inside of me to challenge ideas and the more I challenge them, the more I learn.

Maybe if you thought about God more when you're posting here, you'd come across as being happier.

Atheism is so dreary intellectually, there is no beauty or joy, you have to make everything up. Atheism is so painful.

Part of growing up is realizing that you can't apply your own experiences to other people. Theism was painful for me, atheism was like a breath of fresh air...but I wouldn't go so far as to say theism is so painful.

Materialism is so painful.

I don't find it so.

I used to listen to music 20 or 30 hours a week. It felt like everything was so meaningless, so empty. Everything seems like a joke, everything is absurd. I think that is what hell is like, feeling like that, everything is a joke, there is no sense of respect attached to anything, there is no sense of love, everything is like a joke.

That's being an angsty teenager, not being an atheist.

Everything is like a joke, because philosophically that is the condition of a world where nothing is intrinsically valuable, everything is hollow. That is the post modern condition, a sort of hallow materialism, a reflection on a reflection of nothing.

Maybe you're just prone to gloominess.

I used to take the ideas fairly seriously that God does not exist. I had some lingering doubts about maybe God exists, because I had had thing happen to me where I felt that God could be responsible. But I didn't pursue it because I wanted to keep sinning.

Maybe you would understand us better if you realized that it's unlikely ANY of the atheists you're talking to are in it for the sin. Frankly, I've observed sinning isn't much of a barrier to believing God is real. However, I'll take it as a compliment that you think atheists have too much integrity to sin and believe in God at the same time.