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[John V]

I am going to start of on a different leg here. Instead of mocking your religion, I have a question. Why believe in God?

Some find the first cause and/or design arguments sufficient to get to a belief in some sort of creator god. The Bible (directly or indirectly) and personal experience get you to Christianity.

Just why?

Considering the ubiquity of religion across time and cultures, I'd say the more applicable questions is, Why not? The common response is that we now understand natural phenomena once explained by religion, but read the Bible - such explanation is a tiny fraction of it.

I can't fathom trusting in a book to govern my entire life,

Me neither. The Bible doesn't govern my entire life. It didn't tell me what career to choose, for instance.

especially when it contradicts itself on theological and historical events.

I disagree with you on that point.