End of an era, Fletcher's turn.

[Angrboda]

You have my sincerest sympathies, whateverist.


A few years ago, around the time of my last suicide attempt, my therapist arranged for her, my sisters and I to get together for a session, to discuss my constant desire to end my life. One of my sisters tried to explain to me how she thought it would feel to lose me by analogizing it to losing a dog, that the companion you expected to be there would just be, "missing," for lack of a better word. And even now, though I think my family no longer loves or cares about me, as much as I'd like to think ill of that analogy, to be spiteful, I cannot. I knew the comfort of a canine companion before I knew how to walk or speak. Dogs were an inseparable part of my life growing up. One of the two things I resented about the place I'm currently living is that you cannot ordinarily have a dog. (I probably could now, with a doctor's note and such, but I can't even take care of myself, so I wouldn't want to be responsible for neglecting the needs of a pet.) All the same, my sisters have continued to have dogs as pets, and one of the two is very active in dog showing. In earlier years, I'd often stop by the house of one sister. I'd pretend I stopped by to spend time with my sister, but that was really a lie and I knew it. I went to spend time with the dogs.

I hope you are managing and that you are doing well, all things considered. Blessings and peace to you.