(September 2, 2013 at 8:57 pm)apophenia Wrote:
You have my sincerest sympathies, whateverist.
A few years ago, around the time of my last suicide attempt, my therapist arranged for her, my sisters and I to get together for a session, to discuss my constant desire to end my life. One of my sisters tried to explain to me how she thought it would feel to lose me by analogizing it to losing a dog, that the companion you expected to be there would just be, "missing," for lack of a better word. And even now, though I think my family no longer loves or cares about me, as much as I'd like to think ill of that analogy, to be spiteful, I cannot. I knew the comfort of a canine companion before I knew how to walk or speak. Dogs were an inseparable part of my life growing up. One of the two things I resented about the place I'm currently living is that you cannot ordinarily have a dog. (I probably could now, with a doctor's note and such, but I can't even take care of myself, so I wouldn't want to be responsible for neglecting the needs of a pet.) All the same, my sisters have continued to have dogs as pets, and one of the two is very active in dog showing. In earlier years, I'd often stop by the house of one sister. I'd pretend I stopped by to spend time with my sister, but that was really a lie and I knew it. I went to spend time with the dogs.
I hope you are managing and that you are doing well, all things considered. Blessings and peace to you.
Careful you guys, if the theists catch us going on about our dogs they'll begin to question our estrangement from all morality and human feeling. You guys have been great. Thank you Apo for the personal touch. I really think you could argue that you not only need a service dog but you might even need some back up to make sure the dog is doing okay. That way you'd be able to bring him or her more places too. (My suspicion is that caring for the dog would translate into caring better for yourself as well. Fletcher sure got me out on more walks than I would ever have done without him.)
I had a walk with the youngster, Heidi Rose, this afternoon. What a contrast. She is the most powerful dog I've ever owned. It takes a brisk walk while alternately throwing the ball out into the bay or out over a hill to give her anything close to a challenging workout. I don't wait for her while she is swimming out or swimming in either. Nothing I can physically do is at all taxing for her. She is wicked smart too. But for pure mind games, I haven't met another dog like Fletcher. He is my lifetime dog, but she has a clear shot at winning the title eventually just as Fletcher did after Sophie died. Life goes on .. until it doesn't. (We're kind of attached to you now too, Apo. Please don't cut out any sooner than you have to!)
