Men Women Sex and Temptation

[DeistPaladin]

Have to agree here. Don't know if I'm bi. BUT..... I can appreciate a fine looking female or male.

Bisexuality is more complicated than our purist notions of heterosexuality would suggest. I do seem much more readily attracted to females than to males (and even with the latter, my aesthetic preference is more the slender "twink" type than the Fabio-type). From what I understand, that's normal among bis to have an "all things equal..." type of preference. Yet, I think bisexual is the appropriate label in my case. Another interesting thing is that in the early stages of my online correspondence with my wife (we met on the internet, long-distance at first), I was confiding in her about problems I was having with the man I loved at that time. The lines between "bi" and "straight" or "gay" may be a lot more fuzzy than we currently believe.

One gay man I spoke with on the topic of sexual orientation seemed to have the need to deny the existence of bisexuality. He asked me to do a thought experiment where I had two options of sexual companion for one night, one my ideal male and the other my ideal female (this was back when I was single). Knowing I could have only one, which one would I choose. I answered "the woman". He said, "see, you're really straight". To which I replied, "and yet, I wouldn't kick the guy out of bed."

Bisexuality is also, I suspect, often suppressed, as was the case with me for so many years. Most Bis I've spoken with started out thinking we're straight. Since we are genuinely attracted to the opposite gender, it's no difficulty simply focusing our sexual and romantic impulses in that direction. Any time I found myself admiring someone of the same gender, I used the "lust into envy" formula to tell myself it's what I wanted to be rather than to have. It took the rather dramatic experience of falling in love with a man to wake me up to my versatile nature.

A thought experiment that might answer your question is if you could fantasize about having sex with someone of the same gender and be turned on by the idea. You still might be mostly straight but as I've said, I think bisexuality is a matter of shades of gray.