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(October 3, 2013 at 3:56 am)max-greece Wrote: From a post in a similar thread sometime ago. Generally it goes down as a winner in the most embarrassing stakes:
Dinner party. Our house. In laws. Mother in law, sister in law, both brother in laws plus my nephew who is a couple of years younger than my daughter (who was about 9 at the time). I cooked. It was a rather complex sea-food dish where all the components are cooked separately - then mixed into a tomato and basil sauce. This is then mixed with slightly undercooked spaghetti which absorbs the tomato sauce and, if it all goes well, is perfectly al-dente when served.
We had some starters and polite conversation but the kids got bored and wanted to go play so we let them. They went off to her room.
When the starters were done with I mixed the spaghetti with the sauce got it perfect (absolutely nailed it), decanted the lot onto a huge serving plate and placed it in the middle of the table.
We called the kids.
Turned out they weren't in her room but in ours and playing with....some unsuitable toys.
My first inkling of what had happened was when my daughter rounded the corner into the dining room wearing a somewhat odd nurses uniform. She was followed by a 7 year old blur who erupted over the table between his mother and father. He then slammed a vibrator onto his forehead with the words: "Mummy, mummy, look at me, I'm a rhinoceros!"
Then things got worse. Sadly slamming the vibrator onto his forehead like that started the vibrator, obviously something he was not expecting - so he instantly dropped it with an "ugh."
No prizes guessing where it landed. Right in the middle of the main course where it appeared to be attempting to dig its way through in front of a very startled audience.
Five hours that thing had taken me to make - no-one ate a thing. Apparently my comment; "Oh come on - its not like its going to make everything taste like fish" was not regarded as suitable.
Not as funny as Max's, but I have a childhood story of using mommy's 'electric toothbrush' out of her travel bag. It took thirty years to recall and confirm that it was actually mommy's vibrator. My mom cackled at the thought; I vomited.
I also have a short lived life as a thief. I was four. After church! , we stopped at a five and dime store. I noticed an open bag of bubble gum balls. Since I wasn't being watched, I stuffed my short suit pockets full. The theft became obvious once home...I ran to my Sit 'N' Spin in the middle of the kitchen and began spinning. Suddenly multi colored ball bearings were launched all over the house. My father made me break my piggy bank and give the manager the money. I never stole again.
I also have a brothel story and a bad LSD trip story inside a Blockbuster Video store, but I think I'll keep those private. :p
, we stopped at a five and dime store. I noticed an open bag of bubble gum balls. Since I wasn't being watched, I stuffed my short suit pockets full. The theft became obvious once home...I ran to my Sit 'N' Spin in the middle of the kitchen and began spinning. Suddenly multi colored ball bearings were launched all over the house. My father made me break my piggy bank and give the manager the money. I never stole again.