For me, when it comes to deciding whether to forgive someone it involves everything about them, not just what they did. Is this person a source of happiness or misery for me? Did they intend to cause me misery? Did they intend to cause me happiness when they did? If I come to the conclusion that there was no intent, then I usually forgive them, humans make mistakes. If they put someone before me, I would rethink our relationship and if their decision was understandable. But if there was actual intent to cause me harm for what I think is an unjustified motive, I cut them out of my life as much as I possibly can. That doesn't mean holding a grudge, I'll be quite at peace with it, I just stop interacting with them to make my life better.
This also doesn't mean I don't hold grudges, I do, I don't try particularly hard not to. There are just some people who hurt me more than others and I cannot let it go. I don't see it as a bad thing, it's a part of me, it doesn't consume my life, I'm (sadly) not the vengeful kind.
This also doesn't mean I don't hold grudges, I do, I don't try particularly hard not to. There are just some people who hurt me more than others and I cannot let it go. I don't see it as a bad thing, it's a part of me, it doesn't consume my life, I'm (sadly) not the vengeful kind.
