The Toilet Seat Dilemma

[Clueless Morgan]

Germs esplode out of the toilet if you don't shut the seat lid when flushing. Jus sayin

The exact reason why the lid (and therefore also the seat) goes down after every single use. As far as I'm concerned it's a hygiene thing. The toilet at work grosses me out because it doesn't have lid; I turn my face away when I flush it.

I also put cleaning agents in the bowl from time to time and I don't want my cats drinking from a toilet with chemicals or cleaning agents in it that could poison them, so the lid is always down.

I'm fucking picky about how the toilet paper goes on the roller, too.

I'm notorious for changing the roll around if it's not coming off the top - unless the paper is in a locked receptacle and I can't, then I just sit there, do my business and gripe to myself about how the paper is coming off the wrong way.

Dude, the funnel web lives there. And apparently, it's common. And it can kill your ass dead. And it has BIG BONY FANGS. I heard there was some sort of emergency number to call if you see one so the spider juicers can come get it to make antivenin for the hospital ERS. Urp.

Holy fuck. I am NEVER going to Australia.