I agree with Misanthrope: Atheism is what happens when you don't believe in god, it doesn't happen the other way around.
You are a theist whether you accept that or not. This is not your problem, however. Doesn't much matter which one you are. Neither is going to make you happy. Religion is not about making you happy. Atheism is also not about making you happy.
You're difficulty is that you would appear to be suffering from Major Depression. I've been there. It's no damn fun. But it happens, a lot more than you probably realize. It's a difficult condition for the therapist to treat. Your religiosity or lack thereof is not the key here. I, of course cannot know what the key might be, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with your belief or lack of a belief in a deity. I remember that a long time ago someone told me that depression was self-hate. I doubt it's that simple, nothing concerning humans is – but it seems to frequently be a part of it.
Depressives never seem to like themselves very much. You certainly do not appear to. I think that maybe you need to find reasons to like yourself. Can't hurt, right? There must be something. I think that maybe in your work with a therapist you should be looking to find reasons to like yourself more, and to like living more. When you are OK with yourself and your life, that is when you'll find your other half.
Hope this helps a bit.
You are a theist whether you accept that or not. This is not your problem, however. Doesn't much matter which one you are. Neither is going to make you happy. Religion is not about making you happy. Atheism is also not about making you happy.
You're difficulty is that you would appear to be suffering from Major Depression. I've been there. It's no damn fun. But it happens, a lot more than you probably realize. It's a difficult condition for the therapist to treat. Your religiosity or lack thereof is not the key here. I, of course cannot know what the key might be, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with your belief or lack of a belief in a deity. I remember that a long time ago someone told me that depression was self-hate. I doubt it's that simple, nothing concerning humans is – but it seems to frequently be a part of it.
Depressives never seem to like themselves very much. You certainly do not appear to. I think that maybe you need to find reasons to like yourself. Can't hurt, right? There must be something. I think that maybe in your work with a therapist you should be looking to find reasons to like yourself more, and to like living more. When you are OK with yourself and your life, that is when you'll find your other half.
Hope this helps a bit.
“To terrify children with the image of hell, to consider women an inferior creation—is that good for the world?”
― Christopher Hitchens
"That fear first created the gods is perhaps as true as anything so brief could be on so great a subject". - George Santayana
"If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed". - George Carlin
― Christopher Hitchens
"That fear first created the gods is perhaps as true as anything so brief could be on so great a subject". - George Santayana
"If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed". - George Carlin
