(November 18, 2013 at 7:44 pm)Zazzy Wrote:(November 18, 2013 at 7:25 pm)futilethewinds Wrote: I don't make sex noises. I'm very quiet. I'm working on it because I realize that people need feedback.Me, too! I get VERY quiet before and during orgasm, until the back spasms, when I say "ow." It has weirded some lovers out. It just feels strange to "fake it" by adding noise when I don't want to make any damned noise. And I've always had back spasms from orgasm, and it always hurts a little.
Probably TMI, and definitely off-topic, but I'm wondering about wet dreams. I always thought they were for men, and then I turned 40 and for the past couple of years I've been pretty consistently having a rocking good sleep sex life. Do other women experience this? Do men continue to experience it, or start experiencing more often later? I realize that I'm in those fabled years of cougardom, but I never expected to be doing it all by myself so well without even meaning to.
You're definitely not alone. My wife still gets off in her sleep occasionally. That has been extremely rare for me, probably less times my entire life than the fingers on one hand. (Those talented fingers being the chief reason for the rarity.)
As for our decibel level during sex, we both tend toward extremely quiet before but decidedly less so during orgasm. As for needing the 'feedback' I just watch her face and feel her level of arousal directly.
When I was single and would have a new partner I hated being with someone who wanted what they wanted and just the way they wanted it. Boring. I always felt like "if I can't play you a tune of my own devising on your instrument, why don't you just take over yourself"? I know some women are very insecure about if they'll come or how long it takes them. (All the more reason to take control away if you ask me.) For me, there are basically just two things I do during sex: build hunger and feed it. Gulping the meal is only satisfying after a fast.
