Back on topic...
I'm not entirely sure I actually believed what I claimed to believe when I was a Christian. The entire time I identified myself as a Christian I sensed a nagging dissonance between what I had 'faith' in, and what I knew to be legitimate and tangible. I was very passionate about my beliefs, just as I am now passionate about my disbelief, and I am not immune to needing to have some semblance of understanding as to why I exist. It's just that now, the understanding I seek is not found in the heavens, but within the human experience. Looking back, I can say that it was a continual balancing/juggling act, where I had to parse what I knew was real, with what I hoped was true. I can see how Christians (and other religious people) would want to cling to hope that feels good while living in a world of real pain, for I once identified with their plight. The difference is, now I don't need the fairy tales to exist.
I'm not entirely sure I actually believed what I claimed to believe when I was a Christian. The entire time I identified myself as a Christian I sensed a nagging dissonance between what I had 'faith' in, and what I knew to be legitimate and tangible. I was very passionate about my beliefs, just as I am now passionate about my disbelief, and I am not immune to needing to have some semblance of understanding as to why I exist. It's just that now, the understanding I seek is not found in the heavens, but within the human experience. Looking back, I can say that it was a continual balancing/juggling act, where I had to parse what I knew was real, with what I hoped was true. I can see how Christians (and other religious people) would want to cling to hope that feels good while living in a world of real pain, for I once identified with their plight. The difference is, now I don't need the fairy tales to exist.
