I don't know how to describe this personality but I have seen it all my life!!
ie: they have their own circle of friends with whom they goof around with and etc, but every other single human being they are 100% serious with, and you practically gotta watch every word you say to them because if you accidentally say ONE thing that they deem is lame, they put you down and make you feel like crap. And they always have that one or two guys in their crew that are constantly kissing their asses weather on the track or a facebook argument like "oh nice come back dave - u smoked him!!"
and its not like everyone thinks they are assholes either, the way their personality is, is like you want them to like you and then you make a mistake, and they act like dicks to you, and then you feel like crying because you just really want them to like you!
ie: in high school i was a pretty goofy and carefree kid, i didn't care about my clothes or stuff at all - then I made a few friends who liked me cus they thought I was funny but then they had a couple friends who would constantly put me down like "hey leo, nice shoes - were they on sale at Walmart?" and then everyone else would laugh. and they would always seem to be talking crap about people at any given time, and its not like they were jerks because they all went on to nice colleges and have high profile jobs now with hot wives and christian kids.
even notice a lot online, people always harassing me for my spelling and stupid ideas and stuff. sometimes i feel like idk if i belong in this world and if maybe i would be better off dead (I believe in heaven).
I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have are usually the kind of people that just genuinely amazing and nice. Ie: i been bedridden sick for over a week, and my buddy who lives 1 hour away, drove through sub zero weather to bring me food and meds!
So idk what to do, christians say that the ways of the world are corrupt and i should be myself and thank god for the friends i do have. i feel like a more atheistic approach would be that life and society are survival of the fittest, and I need to become more assholey to fit in better - but i try but I'm just a very meek guy it seems.
ie: they have their own circle of friends with whom they goof around with and etc, but every other single human being they are 100% serious with, and you practically gotta watch every word you say to them because if you accidentally say ONE thing that they deem is lame, they put you down and make you feel like crap. And they always have that one or two guys in their crew that are constantly kissing their asses weather on the track or a facebook argument like "oh nice come back dave - u smoked him!!"
and its not like everyone thinks they are assholes either, the way their personality is, is like you want them to like you and then you make a mistake, and they act like dicks to you, and then you feel like crying because you just really want them to like you!
ie: in high school i was a pretty goofy and carefree kid, i didn't care about my clothes or stuff at all - then I made a few friends who liked me cus they thought I was funny but then they had a couple friends who would constantly put me down like "hey leo, nice shoes - were they on sale at Walmart?" and then everyone else would laugh. and they would always seem to be talking crap about people at any given time, and its not like they were jerks because they all went on to nice colleges and have high profile jobs now with hot wives and christian kids.
even notice a lot online, people always harassing me for my spelling and stupid ideas and stuff. sometimes i feel like idk if i belong in this world and if maybe i would be better off dead (I believe in heaven).
I don't have many friends, but the friends I do have are usually the kind of people that just genuinely amazing and nice. Ie: i been bedridden sick for over a week, and my buddy who lives 1 hour away, drove through sub zero weather to bring me food and meds!
So idk what to do, christians say that the ways of the world are corrupt and i should be myself and thank god for the friends i do have. i feel like a more atheistic approach would be that life and society are survival of the fittest, and I need to become more assholey to fit in better - but i try but I'm just a very meek guy it seems.
