It really scares me.

[Sword of Christ]

Sounds like you've convinced yourself which one you like best.

That's like saying you convinced yourself of atheism because you don't like the idea of God existing.

But every time you try to imply that we should agree with you it just sounds like "and why would you want any other flavor when you could have chocolate?"

Why believe in the worst case scenario when you can just believe in the best case scenario when either scenario can be demonstrated to be valid in light of the facts we know? If evolution and the Big Bang aren't reasons to not believe in God and science doesn't provide any reasons that negate Gods existence then whats stopping you? It's just going to be what you happen to like and your own opinion, if you want to play that card it can easily just be handed back to you.