I rarely go to the cinema any more. Far too many people seem to forget that they aren't sitting at home in front of the telly.
1. Shut off your mobile. You aren't nearly so important that your call won't keep for an hour and a half.
2. Once the film starts, shut your gob. I paid to hear the actors, not you.
3. Leave your kids at home. There isn't a three-years old child on the planet who knows how to behave at a cinema.
4. If you're one of those people with a weak bladder, I'm sorry for your trouble, but pick an aisle seat, preferably at the back.
5. If you can't hear properly, get a better hearing aid - stop asking the person you came with, 'WHAT DID HE SAY?'
6. If the person you came with can't hear properly, stop repeating the dialog when they ask you, 'WHAT DID HE SAY?'
7. Read the Content Warnings BEFORE you go to the film. Don't have the nerve to go and watch 'Cannibalistic Zombie Cheerleader Slashers XVI' and complain loudly about the gore.
8. If it's a sad film, and you absolutely, positively HAVE to cry, have the decency to do so quietly.
9. Don't go to the cinema if you're in poor health. If you sit near me coughing and blowing your hooter all through the film, you're going to have a helluva lot more to deal with than a head cold.
10. Keep your fucking shoes on your fucking feet. You don't smell nearly as good as you think you do.
Boru
1. Shut off your mobile. You aren't nearly so important that your call won't keep for an hour and a half.
2. Once the film starts, shut your gob. I paid to hear the actors, not you.
3. Leave your kids at home. There isn't a three-years old child on the planet who knows how to behave at a cinema.
4. If you're one of those people with a weak bladder, I'm sorry for your trouble, but pick an aisle seat, preferably at the back.
5. If you can't hear properly, get a better hearing aid - stop asking the person you came with, 'WHAT DID HE SAY?'
6. If the person you came with can't hear properly, stop repeating the dialog when they ask you, 'WHAT DID HE SAY?'
7. Read the Content Warnings BEFORE you go to the film. Don't have the nerve to go and watch 'Cannibalistic Zombie Cheerleader Slashers XVI' and complain loudly about the gore.
8. If it's a sad film, and you absolutely, positively HAVE to cry, have the decency to do so quietly.
9. Don't go to the cinema if you're in poor health. If you sit near me coughing and blowing your hooter all through the film, you're going to have a helluva lot more to deal with than a head cold.
10. Keep your fucking shoes on your fucking feet. You don't smell nearly as good as you think you do.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
