[split] How sexy are you?

[Clueless Morgan]

At least my hand and feet are little

I hate you. I have gigantic feet. The only positive is that I'm just within range of "normal" shoe sizes, but that means that I can hardly ever find good stuff on sale because it'll already be gone since pickins for size-10 shoes are always slim.


I have very little conception of how attractive I am; reinforcement as a child came in the form of my parents telling me I had pretty hair, long legs and was thin, and my sister telling me I had a big nose and was ugly so my self-perception is largely "tall, thin, nice hair, big nose, long legs, ugly." This kind of reinforcement has also made me supremely uncomfortable when people tell me I'm pretty. It makes me 1) not believe them and 2) think they're trying to get something from me by buttering me up. I had an ex-boyfriend who kept insisting that I was pretty to the point that it made me cry because he kept lying to me.

The first time I remember being told I was pretty was when I was 16 and was seriously made up for a wedding. I didn't even look like myself. It was a blow to my self-esteem to realize that in order to elicit compliments about my appearance I had to completely alter the way I looked. That's when I decided that I'd rather be an ogre but be myself than cake my face in makeup everyday on the off chance people would think I'm pretty.