Totally NOT a debate about the veracity of the gospels

[*Deidre*]

No one has ever talked to me like this. So, why are you here?

I am here for anyone who is willing to hear the truth. I am here because there was a time in my life when I did not care about anyone, even myself. But there were people who loved me even when I was unlovable and they showed me who God was, not by clever arguments or lofty knowledge, but by encouraging me, helping me, listening to my problems, comforting me when I was suffering from depression and a host of other ills. They showed me by their actions what love was. They met me where I was and did not demand anything from me. When I laughed in their faces and cursed their name and their God, they still loved me.

I used to rail against Christians more than anyone here. At one point in time I could make someone like Minimalist look like a saint. I cursed and railed and reviled the name of Christ and anyone who spoke His name.

But despite all of this waywardness, when I needed Jesus the most, He was right there waiting for me.

I did not come to know Him through a philosophical argument or a logical empirical proof. I came to know Him when I took what I knew and said: "God, if you are real, help me."

And Deidre, He did!

I appreciate you sharing that. I do. I'm not an atheist. I'm Agnostic, and the path for me anyways, led naturally there. I reject all forms of religion, and I don't believe there is proof of God. The Bible is not proof, but if a god exists, I'm open to the possibility. Mankind has been trying to solve the 'mysteries of life' equations for centuries. Long before Christianity, even. Long before civilizations, mankind has been trying to find answers to what he doesn't know. Christianity is one but many religions, discipulus. To think that it's real, and valuable, and relevant...and that it could mirror an actual God, is just...in my eyes, not genuine.

I did give my heart to God when I followed Christianity. I did believe. I wasn't going through the motions. I prayed often and fervently. You know don't me, but I know that I might come across as angry, but we're debating. lol In my offline life, I no longer struggle internally anymore. As much as I 'liked' being a Christian, and I did...I really did...I didn't like the angst that I felt, inside...because there came a point where I couldn't ignore truth. Real truth. This is what indoctrination does to people. You follow something long enough, you really think you believe it.

The Nazis were indoctrinated, and brainwashed for years, before they actually formed their group.

Anyway, I hear what you're saying, and if you have found a life in worshipping a god, that is your choice. But, don't assume that I'm thristing for what you are. I didn't have any crisis of faith, I'm not jaded. I'm angry at times, because I see what religion does to people, to countries. It has done more harm than good, and no matter what you say, you can't deny that. It has caused wars. It has hurt minorities, and gay people. It divides and it conquers.

That's what it does. You coming to a site like this in hopes of getting people to convert...is also your choice. But religion assumes that people need something more than this life. That hope is somewhere 'out there.'

Happiness and hope exist in us all...if we just tap into it.

But, anyway. I appreciate your sharing. I don't think you're an asshole, discipulus, for whatever that's worth.