appropriate avatar

[My imaginary friend is GOD]

Oh, I have this problem, bad. I tend to romanticize every relationship I'm in. I idealize the partners at the beginning, and then as the relationship goes on, they can never live up to the idealized version of them that I originally had, and I end up starting to resent that.

I have dated women that I thought could challenge me intellectually, and they do. They actually do, but then I discover that they are ignorant about something I find fascinating, and then it crumbles. It is the thing I hate the most about myself.

Thanks for dropping the knowledge on me, futile. I am the worlds biggest sapiosexual.

I really think everything you said in that first paragraph is extremely common. It is possible that absolutely everybody does that. I'm not sure how one STOPS doing that, because I mean, if you didn't have this idealized version of who this person is at the beginning of the relationship, why would you want to be with THEM over anybody else in the world? And inevitably, humans are just so disappointing. Every single one, every single time will disappoint you if you allow yourself to have any kind of expectation for them whatsoever.

That second part doesn't sound like it should be a deal-breaker. Just talk to other people about that thing you find fascinating and talk about other things with this person who actually does by some miracle challenge you intellectually.

Wait, don't listen to anything I say, I have the worst dating history so far, and I have like, no standards whatsoever, I will forgive almost anything but outright overall stupidity.