We have a jolly good time. Ya see, when Jesus was crucified, all of the dead saints rose up from their graves and roamed the city. I've never heard mention of them crawling back into their graves. So, on Easter we all walk around asking strangers if they happen to be a dead saint.
Then, when Jesus tried ascending into heaven his body rose into the air. No one told him that you can't get there from here; ya have to slip into another dimension for that. We believe that the body of Jesus is still floating about like a lost balloon. We bring our binoculars to a field and watch the sky for any sign of him. Last year we thought we finally saw him, but it was another damn unicorn!
Oh yeah, then we eat dead pig.
Then, when Jesus tried ascending into heaven his body rose into the air. No one told him that you can't get there from here; ya have to slip into another dimension for that. We believe that the body of Jesus is still floating about like a lost balloon. We bring our binoculars to a field and watch the sky for any sign of him. Last year we thought we finally saw him, but it was another damn unicorn!
Oh yeah, then we eat dead pig.
There is an ALLLL-knowing, ALLLL-powerful, inVISible being who is everywhere, who created the WHOLE universe, who lives in another dimension called heaven, who is perfect in every way, who was never born and will never die, and who watches you every minute of every day (even when you're squeezing one out on the toilet). There are also unicorns, leprechauns, Santa Claus, an Easter Bunny, and a giant purple people eater.
JUST BELIEVE IT!
JUST BELIEVE IT!
