(May 2, 2014 at 6:42 pm)Rampant.A.I. Wrote: OCD is a symptomatic of stress, and in fact the rituals associated with OCD are the beginnings of generically religious thought. Do a ritual, stress level goes down. Repeat. Codify into beliefs and eventually dogmas.
There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone goes through stress, especially as a teenager with hormone spikes.
The guilt and fear you're feeling isn't rational, but it is normal. It's difficult to not be able to, or feel like you can't admit that you do not believe in the same things many people around you do, knowing that if you do, they'll treat you like there is something wrong with you.
And remember, faith in yourself, and that you will get through whatever life throws your way, knowing that not everything is the end of the world, and knowing there is something larger outside yourself (other people, an enormous, complex, naturally beautiful universe, and a beautiful planet even with the rough patches, warts and sores), and that no matter how hopeless and desperate you feel, things can always get better.
Thank you for your reply.
I've realized that some of what I'm feeling is partly due to societal pressures. I'm sure that if the Christian denomination decreased dramatically I wouldn't be so worried about all this.
I am really into space, astronomy, and the cosmos. I'm thrilled to know that we literally come from the supernovae of stars. But whenever I think something like that my troll-of-a-mind wonders if maybe there is a god somewhere out there. That maybe the cosmos are a testament to the amazing power of Yahweh. And I just cannot seem to purge these thoughts. It seems to get worse as well when I focus more on it, however if I don't put my attention towards it I end up thinking I am in cognitive dissonance mode and that this feeling is the Holy Spirit or some shit trying to communicate with me.
For all my doubts of religion, there's "got" to answers for them out there, somewhere, that will make sense to me.
hock:
