(July 31, 2014 at 7:03 pm)Mozart Link Wrote: I wish to feel superior to reality by embracing fantasy and feeling empowered by fantasy as well as through the delusion that there is a God and an afterlife. But my intelligence (atheism) has prevented me from being this person I want to be. Which is why I hate such intelligence and view fantasy and feelings of pleasure as superior. All that matters in life to me is embracing feelings of pleasure from god-like fantasy which would make me a mystical god-like being who is superior to reality (so to speak, not literally speaking). So all that matters to me is being a superior god-like being in a sense and ending all things inferior in my life. To me, struggles in life, depression, and the fact that there is no God or afterlife are all inferior things to me and must die. So by believing in a God and an afterlife, I would have "killed" this inferior concept of there being no God and afterlife in a sense (including any feelings of depression as well). Feeling empowered and that I'm all great is the only thing that matters to me in life (not in comparison to other people, but in comparison to myself and reality itself).
I wish to feel superior to reality by denying absolutely that there is anything out there greater than or beyond my own thoughts and intellect. All that matters to me is what is directly in front of me and what most suits my motives in any given situation. All that matters to me is being the smartest in the room and the quickest to make those I do not agree with (even though I have only the argument "didn't see it, didn't happen" in my arsenal) feel degraded and lesser than me. This is my morality - to beat everything I do not condone out of those around be because it bothers me to my core that they are not exactly like me. Admitting that there is a God would mean that I could never truly be this person because there would always be someone greater and this makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and unsatisfied with my own free-will, it disrupts the delusion of my own greatness. Feeling empowered and that I'm all great is the only thing that matters to me in life (compared to other people, and in comparison to myself and reality itself).
". . . let the atheists themselves choose a god. They will find only one divinity who ever uttered their isolation; only one religion in which God seemed for an instant to be an atheist." -G. K. Chesterton
