RE: Your thoughts on finding "the one"?
August 13, 2014 at 9:32 am
(This post was last modified: August 13, 2014 at 9:34 am by Dystopia.)
I do not know if there is something as 'the one', but there sure is someone very close to that definition. If you chose to believe that a perfect person for you, AKA the one exists that is your choice. I do not believe there is such a person, but rather someone who is very compatible with you, someone you share lots of chemistry with, the situation is similar to a puzzle, she completes you and you complete her.
Honestly, the best advice I can give is - Don't rush things up and don't try to hard. Trying to hard will only give you apparent feelings of love, there was a time when I literally forced myself to 'love' every girl I met because I believed they could be the one. Just live your life and socialize, it will happen eventually, I can guarantee you by 100%.
To me, it happened naturally. I'm 20 and I started dating my girlfriend when I was 18, I fell in love for her, and I still am (in fact it has only increased and not the opposite). You could argue relationships between young people last a short time, that the young are not mature enough and are easily deluded by lust and infatuation, but I do not think that's my case. The fact is I was very mature when I was only 18, I wanted a serious relationship and I had been with an abusive suicide threatening girlfriend before, so I was scared to start liking a girl again. Not that I loved my ex, it was mostly crush and infatuation, with my girlfriend it felt different. It just happened naturally, we became great friends and once we kissed inside a bus. I sometimes wondered 'is this friendzone again?', but no, it was very different from a friendzone situation, we were very good friends but I had this feeling of chemistry and in a certain way a feeling of what we call love, the chemical reactions, and of course some sexual healthy thoughts, perfectly natural... I think the reason we have managed to make it work is because unlike most of our friends who start dating but then want freedom and liberal relationships, we actually made commitments and didn't care about letting some privileges go, we respect each others' will. We also believed we could make it, I don't know if that has any relevance, but going into a relationship thinking 'it will end someday' is not a good thing to hope for if you want to make it work.
I do not believe in love at first sight and I think it is very unlikely to happen, a relationship is built on trust and cooperation (b sides love and respect), a strong bond of friendship will help a relationship have a better outcome. The fact we were friends before helped us immensely, and the feeling/emotion we call love just started to be built slowly... I only realized when it had gotten out of control
I hope that helped you out, and please stop trying, enjoy your life and the advantages of being single, and keep rocking as an engineer. PS - I didn't try to find her, she just fell of the sky
Honestly, the best advice I can give is - Don't rush things up and don't try to hard. Trying to hard will only give you apparent feelings of love, there was a time when I literally forced myself to 'love' every girl I met because I believed they could be the one. Just live your life and socialize, it will happen eventually, I can guarantee you by 100%.
To me, it happened naturally. I'm 20 and I started dating my girlfriend when I was 18, I fell in love for her, and I still am (in fact it has only increased and not the opposite). You could argue relationships between young people last a short time, that the young are not mature enough and are easily deluded by lust and infatuation, but I do not think that's my case. The fact is I was very mature when I was only 18, I wanted a serious relationship and I had been with an abusive suicide threatening girlfriend before, so I was scared to start liking a girl again. Not that I loved my ex, it was mostly crush and infatuation, with my girlfriend it felt different. It just happened naturally, we became great friends and once we kissed inside a bus. I sometimes wondered 'is this friendzone again?', but no, it was very different from a friendzone situation, we were very good friends but I had this feeling of chemistry and in a certain way a feeling of what we call love, the chemical reactions, and of course some sexual healthy thoughts, perfectly natural... I think the reason we have managed to make it work is because unlike most of our friends who start dating but then want freedom and liberal relationships, we actually made commitments and didn't care about letting some privileges go, we respect each others' will. We also believed we could make it, I don't know if that has any relevance, but going into a relationship thinking 'it will end someday' is not a good thing to hope for if you want to make it work.
I do not believe in love at first sight and I think it is very unlikely to happen, a relationship is built on trust and cooperation (b sides love and respect), a strong bond of friendship will help a relationship have a better outcome. The fact we were friends before helped us immensely, and the feeling/emotion we call love just started to be built slowly... I only realized when it had gotten out of control
I hope that helped you out, and please stop trying, enjoy your life and the advantages of being single, and keep rocking as an engineer. PS - I didn't try to find her, she just fell of the sky
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
