Hiya.

[Keri]

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I love to hear about personal experiences that have shaped your views on the world. Something like "My uncle died of cancer and I helped him in his last hours", "my best friend was raped when I was 15," or "I lost a leg in 'nam," something that had a huge impact in your life. Hey, it doesn't have to be gruesome, it could be something like the deep feeling a mother has washing her baby for the first time. I dunno.. We are so often shaped by our surrounding events. How were your parents? anything unique about them?

(I was a baptist preacher's kid, fortunately as liberal as they come and bivocational so that I wasn't dirt poor.)

Do you have an interesting career or hobby?

Are you married to a Chippendale dancer?

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That's quite personal. In the past I've been an open book from the get go but I feel as if I'm starting fresh here and it's nice not to air all of my dirty laundry.

With that said, I don't mind sharing some things.
My uncle died of an immuno-compromised body from the effect of AIDS five years ago. I hadn't seen him in about five years as he was in various care homes in the south west of America and I was living in various places in the mid to north west of America. My father called me one day and said that him and my grandparents were going to go see him and they were driving through the town I was living at anyway, if I wanted to come.

Thankfully I was able to go because he required a lot of care. He couldn't walk and my grandmother insisted in taking him out to lunch. My grandparents were not able to help him and my dad was holding back tears the entire time. So there I was, lifting him in and out of the car. Thankfully I had training in this area because I did clinical rounds at care homes. I felt at that moment, I was meant to have all the experience I did, if only to make that trip easier for my uncle and for my dad and grandparents.

We went to a pizza place and he got to order whatever he wanted. He kept wanting more root beer. I had to feed him. Hold his drink for him. Wipe his mouth. It was a surreal experience. When I was a child, my uncle was so full of life and cheer. I still saw the sparkle in his clouded eyes. Somehow. The AIDs made his eyes go grey and cloudy. But there was still life inside of him. His body was just withering.

We took him back and spent some time with him there. Before we left I kissed him and told him that I loved him, he started crying. I didn't know at the time that it was going to be the last time I would see him. He died two weeks later.

I think the way that experience helped shape me was I realised that everything that happens in your life is meant to happen for an experience in the future. And it helped me not take any moment for granted, even the miserable ones like clinical training because you may need that experience some day.

My grandmother still brings up that day. And still thanks me for helping him. Because we wouldn't have been able to go out and have a (somewhat) normal meal and our last memory with him wasn't in a hospital. It was going out as a family and enjoying each other's company. I think my uncle appreciated it as well. Or he just really liked the root beer.

/sappy story