If couples like playing that type of game, as in 'Scenario A,' there should be some sort of safe word for when either one of you is not actually comfortable with the situation, this scenario is rape, period. Any sex with a non-consenting person is rape in my mind.
I have been in situations where a girl and I were fooling around and she started resisting, though I knew that she wanted me to take control and sort of dominate her... and while I understand this may be confusing for some men, it's pretty easy to gauge, in my opinion, whether she is simply being a tease and wants you to take control or actually wants you to stop and get the fuck off of her. While I'm sure some women take this farther than others, the moral of the story is, if you feel like you are legitimately forcing yourself on someone, stop.
Now in scenario a, as many people may disagree with me or call me a 'rape apologist,' doesn't the blame lay on the woman in this scenario? If this sort of rough sex/domination is something that a couple regularly partakes in, isn't it either one of their responsibilities (depending on who is dominating and who is being dominated) to not only express when they are uncomfortable with something but also develop some sort of language to say, "Hey I am really not cool with this stop right now." .....? Maybe I am seeing something wrong or differently than others but that's how it comes off to me. If it is a regular thing for my wife or girlfriend to want me to dominate her or play out some sort of 'rape fantasy,' how am I supposed to know when she is uncomfortable unless we have some sort of safe word or code word?
I have been in situations where a girl and I were fooling around and she started resisting, though I knew that she wanted me to take control and sort of dominate her... and while I understand this may be confusing for some men, it's pretty easy to gauge, in my opinion, whether she is simply being a tease and wants you to take control or actually wants you to stop and get the fuck off of her. While I'm sure some women take this farther than others, the moral of the story is, if you feel like you are legitimately forcing yourself on someone, stop.
Now in scenario a, as many people may disagree with me or call me a 'rape apologist,' doesn't the blame lay on the woman in this scenario? If this sort of rough sex/domination is something that a couple regularly partakes in, isn't it either one of their responsibilities (depending on who is dominating and who is being dominated) to not only express when they are uncomfortable with something but also develop some sort of language to say, "Hey I am really not cool with this stop right now." .....? Maybe I am seeing something wrong or differently than others but that's how it comes off to me. If it is a regular thing for my wife or girlfriend to want me to dominate her or play out some sort of 'rape fantasy,' how am I supposed to know when she is uncomfortable unless we have some sort of safe word or code word?
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
