Alcoholics Anonymous and Drug Addiction

[Aractus]

We were each polishing off a half gallon of vodka a day for years. And this, you have to understand, was just maintenance drinking - we never slurred our words or stumbled around, or got into trouble.

I believe you that this was maintenance drinking that you were dependant and that going cold turkey at that point would have killed you, I do not believe you "did not slur your words". The maintenance drinking, as I understand it, would be to keep your blood alcohol from dropping below a certain point (eg .2).

I wish I could attribute my sobriety to a testimony that would be inspiring to spiritual people or AA people, but it's me that keeps me sober. Not god, not AA, not any outside influence. Maybe I've had enough. Maybe I'm not done yet. Sometimes I feel like going "back out." But this time it would be to do it right and finish the insanity that I started.

True that its down to you, however it sounds like you still found AA to be somewhat useful. I'm an AA critic I believe the program is fundamentally flawed by the fact that it relies on self-belief in the program and has not updated it or opened itself to proper critical analysis, but I still believe in giving credit where credit is due.

Also I know someone who was kicked out of a 12-step program. What kind of treatment program excommunicates members?

I have more grief and depression now than ever. I can't find any meaningful employment, even though I'm very computer literate and college educated. I have some clothes and about $20 to my name. I still miss my wife dearly. I live with two morons who knew my wife peripherally - one who has only read the Bible and that's all she'll ever read, and her son, who has delusions of grandeur and a pill habit and pot smoking that keep him housebound. I see all this around me and I wish I could start a meeting of people who could gather for some effective non-spiritual help. It's what I feel I should do with whatever remains of my life, but I just feel that AA doesn't really help people. If it does, they probably were going to quit anyway and just attribute their spontaneous remission to AA.

Why do you want to meet other alcoholics again? Could you find some other interest of yours or something to join and be a part of (a sporting club or something)? You can always join a NPO that interests you if you want as well and be a part of that group. There are other things you can do and groups you can join besides ex-alcoholics.