Objectifying women

[Eilonnwy]

Eilonnwy -

I'm sorry but you're reading into my words again. I'm not saying that every moment of someone's life has to be assessed for anything. As far as blame, I'm not blaming anyone but the rapist, however, if you're not careful, you're taking a risk, and if you do that knowingly, you're a fool even if you don't get raped. To clarify, this isn't so much about what constitutes good advice for avoiding being raped, as we all have different ideas about that, this is more about one's attitude. If you go out and you don't give any thought to the matter, you're being foolish. Women are in an unfortunate position, but, to use a common phrase, it's a cross that you simply have to bear. It's your responsibility to look after yourself. A rapist will rape, sooner or later. Being careful won't change them, but it will minimise your chances of being the one that they rape. If you abdicate your responsibility to look after yourself, and with a bit of bad luck, sooner or later you'll run into one, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in the wrong circumstances.

The part I bolded is where you're victim blaming, but I have repeated myself too many times on the issue. I've explained it every which angle I can to try and make you see.

I'm going to be blunt here, but it has to be said. The moment you assume it's a woman's responsibility to cover herself or not walk alone to avoid rape, you're feeding into rape culture and victim blaming. When you put the focus on what the woman does instead of the people who perpetrate the crime, you are victim blaming. If you ignore the evidence that shows women are mostly raped by people they know, that pulled off the street rape is the rarest form of rape, you're victim blaming. If you don't put the onus on educating people about victim blaming, consent issues, what constitutes sexual harassment, you're buried so deep in rape culture you can't get yourself out.

Also, I'm going to let you in on something, and I've been hinting at it, IHM has been a little more blunt about it, but the reason you cannot see that "putting responsibility on a woman to wear modest clothing, to not walk around alone = victim blaming" and you think that it's common sense, and the logic and evidence we have provided won't let you get it, that wall, so tiny and barely perceptible, is sexism.

And that's why we cannot get through to you, because sexism is not based on logic, but attitudes against women perpetuated for centuries, especially by religion. Extreme examples are in places like Saudi Arabia, but just because you can be appalled at the idea of lashing a woman for being gang raped doesn't mean you can't have little seeds of sexism within your attitude and approach to rape.

Prejudice is largely invisible in this day in age. It's hidden in the little racist jokes we say, it's hidden in the attitude of women being foolish for wearing sexy clothing. Prejudice is not okay, and we all know that, and I don't think anyone here wants to be prejudice. We tell ourselves we agree black people are equal, and women deserve equal pay, so the little things that underly sexism are hidden and propagated without recognizing them for what they are. Hidden prejudice is the idea that you cannot be racist because you have a black friend.

I'm sure some of you may think I'm being insulting by claiming sexism, maybe even think I'm a bitch for it. "Oh there she goes claiming the sexism card!" But after 40+ pages of arguing this topic and not budging one bit, it's as clear as day. It's uncomfortable to think that after all the positive things we may think about women that we could still have contempt for them underneath. And you know what's even more troubling, is that women tend to be their own worst enemy in this. They accept the "well intentioned advice" and they can slut shame worse than any man, and still feel like an enlightened and empowered woman. I've harbored these attitudes myself, and I'm extremely thankful I can see past my own sexism to work towards it and fix it, because as long as people think they can blame a victim, rape won't go away. People will still be victims and be blamed for it.

I hope something I've said has cracked a chip in someone's armor and maybe eventually you'll get it. Maybe that day will come when you're a victim or someone you love is a victim and you realize there was nothing they could have done to stop it.

Do I think people who harbor sexist attitudes are terrible people? Nope. But as long as you have those attitudes, you'll never get it. As long as you put the onus on what women do, say they have crosses to bear without recognizing that you must put the onus on the people who commit the crimes, that the best way to reduce the risk of rape is to educate men about these issues, women will constantly be at risk. And that is truly a crime.

Victim blaming has to stop. No ifs, ands or buts. Only a rapist can rape. Walking alone does not rape you, alcohol does not rape you, being beautiful does not rape you. Rapists rape. Apply the "True... but, if you do this and that..." argument to terrorism.

"Yeah, it's true terrorism is by terrorists BUT you have to be smart about it. Don't use airplanes to get anywhere."
"Don't use any sort of public transportation."
"Don't go in high buildings."
"Don't go to countries that are known to have terrorists."

Yeah, and if you just follow these simple steps, terrorism will NEVER happen to you!

http://scarletmoth.xanga.com/726748148/d...e-culture/