How would you regard good evidence for a God you don't now believe in?

[VAN BELLE Jean Marc]

You do -and simultaneously don't- believe in gods? I can only imagine the inner dialogue. Care to elaborate? On my end, if there were some proof or evidence of god belief would not be required. I don't -believe- in ball point pens. So, no, I don't think that I'd become a monotheist or a polytheist, I think the terms would cease to have meaning.

i understand fully your reaction, it sure is relevant. Uptil my divorce, i did not get out of this: it seemed an impossible dialogue. As my highest intention was being an (earthly!) 'superfather' (for my kids, later on, for all kids needing it around me), i found the poem back of one of my classmates that has now become famous writer in Belgium (and travels a lot now to the U.S., so perhaps you know him now also: Bart Moeyaert) with the title "The other side of the other side".

The inspiration of that poem came to him when we had a medal in our hands (you know, the things you get when you go running the 20 km's in Paris in October and so), and then i realized that this whas what we are in essential atoms: medals with two big parts (do not forget the surrounding or side part however): My intellectual and scientifical atheism CANNOT see my childish belief and vice versa, but they are there and have full influence on my being as a (diverse) person.

The dialogue on itself is MORE important than the fact that i behave/am/think to be atheist because there is not always place for 'deism' or 'duality' in eg. maths, and that on other times i behave/am/think to be something in going concern between 0 = conception out of 2 others so 0 becomes 3 and gets out of its (mathematical, non existing 0 point) versus infinity (or 0 again if you look at it in a boeddhistic way) when dying (death again?).

Now i have found an even more stable point of equilibrity knowing that this <unpossibility> or <contradiction> is the essence of what life is: two seemable unbindable opposits that makes together the wondering or no wondering of life matters and also from supposed 'death' material (i do not put myself higher than the ants someone talks about here on the forum also, i follow that guy in his opinion that man is of the same value of an ant since i saw one that i almost killed with my feet while weiring one of his 'true friends' dead on his back to another place (funeral?) and felt so 'touched' by it that only my childish belief could follow me and left my scientific 'intelligence' like in the song of Anastasia "I look in the rear view, and I don't see you".

However, the last year, when talking to other persons with a severe NDE/DE (nearly or real death experience) as myself, i have begun to understand old religious books on a total other basis (also the concepts of hell and heaven as totally earthly, even scientifical explainable).

So if i have some experiences you do NOT have, and i have information on that, you and others on this world (or Jezus) must have (had) also experiences that i never had so i lack always information i do not have and got for the first open for it.

This openness makes the mind suddenly free. When i die, i know i have two fases: one of intens remorse (i do not know why, i was always doing my best and a very pure kid even before my DE) and one of unexplainable 'rest' (i never have during life and i do not want to have during life, burn me even alife, i am not scared anymore and pain is only pain). So with my promise and my way of living, thinking (your brains get just under a short of the level of shortcircuit when you have a DE so nothing remains the same afterwards, your brains on top of it), when i die, i will not have that remorse phase anymore (i cannot talk about others, this counts for me, and these are thoughts in evolution, so they may en can change, i am only 50 years old yet), but will arive immediately in the 'supercondense phase of immensive, feeling like non human, rest/calmth/heartbeatlessness'.

I can ignore my 'somethingisme' ("ietsisme" in Dutch, but it could be the same word as "nietsisme" in Dutch = 'nothingisme') [ism = my name in Arabic, very weird when i got to learn that three years ago, ismi Jean Marc = my name Jean Marc, without verb, sounds a lot more rude than English 'my name IS Johannus Marcus'], but i cannot ignore the memory and the consequense of that throughout my life until my moment of dying.

PS: i do also believe in ball+point pens. i change the '-' to '+' because you can do more with a ball+point pen than you could imagine: 12 people are killed because of ball+point pens in Paris... You shall i be killed probably: because of what i will be saying the next years, not because of what i will do.

On my desk i have the statue of Pim Fortuyn, also killed for that reason (see Wiki, Dutch version and put google.be/translate on top of it) with this sentence that got very deep as words inside of me:

Loquendi libertatem custodiamus

= Let us vigil (ward?) over the liberty of speeking out?

PS: Did you know, the solemn comunion has as principle thought that you got the age that you DEAR to say what YOU think, instead of following the others (normally age of 12 or so). Look at it this way, and you will look different at things. It comes from the apostles who where terrified after Jezus got crucified, and suddenly the felt 'the spirit' on their tongues as fires, opened all doors and began to preech in languagues "all people could understand" [so i think, before that, people did not understand them, and i am in the phase they do not understand yet me, so i still have to get "the spirit" in the following years to be able to repeat the same thing, in my name there are two opposite apostle names: Johannes = charity and love to each other, Marcus = fighting (hopefully for others and not for himself)]. When getting older, you use your name that often, that you more and more behave like that name and get the 'unvisible wisdom' that is always UNDERneath and ABOVE words.

Think of the tabula smaragdina that is older of any religion by the way...