RE: Christian Parenting Guide
February 8, 2015 at 8:16 am
(This post was last modified: February 8, 2015 at 8:17 am by Homeless Nutter.)
If you want your children to remain Christians, you need to do one important thing: beat them. A lot. With a stick. Bible says so (Proverbs 13:24).
You want to give them brain damage, so that they don't grow up smarter than you and try to make their own decisions. Have you ever noticed how abused animals "love", "respect" and obey their sadistic owners, out of pure fear? That's what you want your children to become. Failing that - you need to kill your child with rocks (Deuteronomy 21:18-21, Exodus 21:17). Don't worry - seeing how devout you are, Jesus will surely grant you many more offspring, so you can start the religious "education" process all over again. Good luck and have fun!
This approach has worked for thousands of years. Treating children as human beings is a modern, anti-religious "fad". Sadly, I wasn't subjected to enough violence when I was a child and now religion seems like crazy rantings of bronze age barbarians to me. Don't let this happen to your child, especially that it will surely affect your own chances for salvation and that's obviously the most important thing! Torture and kill your own children, so that your god knows you love Him, more than them.
You want to give them brain damage, so that they don't grow up smarter than you and try to make their own decisions. Have you ever noticed how abused animals "love", "respect" and obey their sadistic owners, out of pure fear? That's what you want your children to become. Failing that - you need to kill your child with rocks (Deuteronomy 21:18-21, Exodus 21:17). Don't worry - seeing how devout you are, Jesus will surely grant you many more offspring, so you can start the religious "education" process all over again. Good luck and have fun!
This approach has worked for thousands of years. Treating children as human beings is a modern, anti-religious "fad". Sadly, I wasn't subjected to enough violence when I was a child and now religion seems like crazy rantings of bronze age barbarians to me. Don't let this happen to your child, especially that it will surely affect your own chances for salvation and that's obviously the most important thing! Torture and kill your own children, so that your god knows you love Him, more than them.
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
