Why I'm Still a Christian

[The Reality Salesman01]

I would invite you to challenge all of the things in your life that you attribute to God. Your belief in God is a structure that is supported by individual columns. Each column is different for different people. For you, it might be a prayer that was answered, the truth you find in the bible, a fear of hell, a lesson that you learned, some fortunate turn of events, perhaps a much needed boost of emotional strength at a time where you needed it most. There's a good chance that at this point in your life, there is probably very little you hold to be true that hasn't been wedged under the weight of your belief in God. These are all examples of the types of things that could be supporting your God belief, and the entire structure is buried behind walls of emotional blockage. Each time you start to prod at them, you can expect an alarm to trigger in the form of guilt and fear. But if you are honest with yourself in your pursuit of truth, you'll notice that a few of those pillars will begin to crumble. You listed a couple examples in the OP. Each time one falls, you'll notice that everything is still fine. Eventually, there will be nothing left that you need God to explain, and the guilt and fear will crumble away with all of the other things that turned out to be artificial. It's not easy to take that challenge, but in the end, it's the most rewarding experience you can imagine. It will drive you crazy to imagine how that belief got buried so deep. The reality of it is, it's not your choice to believe in God. You don't believe in God because you want to, you believe because you think it's true. If you are honest in your inquiry, the belief in God will vanish. The only choice you have is whether or not you will challenge your belief and be honest about what you discover, the rest will just happen on its own.