Why I'm Still a Christian

[Lek]

I've tried. I've called him out many, many times. He decides to remain hidden from me. So either he wants nothing to do with me, or he's not real.

But of course, it's my fault for not trying hard enough. That way god can never lose, and still exists even when he doesn't. It's these win/win things that keep religion going too.

I believe you, and I definitely can't judge you and why you believe as you do. I just have to go on my own experiences, what the scripture says to me, and what has resulted. When we call on him, we need to be open to what accepting him entails. Often when somebody calls on him they really don't want to hear the answer and what it means for them. What is it he is supposed to tell you?