(March 5, 2015 at 1:14 pm)Nope Wrote:(March 5, 2015 at 12:39 pm)robvalue Wrote: What an utter complete load of bollocks. These people are messed up in the head. I had no idea this kind of thing was going on among christians.
To be fair, this extreme thinking if found mainly among fundamentalists but it is still weird that people in a modern western country encourage fathers' to actively find a spouse for their daughters without much input from her. I've read some sites where the girl was not even told the man expressed interest until after the dad decided they could get married. The writers of those sites usually assure their readers that the daughters can say no to the suitor but she really hasn't been taught to think for herself.
Courtship is popular among some conservative Christians but it isn't really arranged marriage. They believe that courtship is dating that leads to marriage so casual dating just for fun is discouraged. The dad has less control in this type of courtship. The conservatives in the US seem to actively court crazy so I have no idea if this will become popular among them but it isn't out of the realm of possibility.
Ahhh courtship. I was never interested in courting. My parents loved that. They would say "a woman's heart should be so close to God, that a man must seek God in order to find her". I still have no idea what that means or how that could even work. Anyways, I think my parents were planning on trying to at least have a very strong influence on who I married, I was planning on going off to college and never coming back except for short visits. Marriage wasn't for me. Obviously that didn't work out for me.
This kind of parenting, not just the courting and attempted (whether successful or not) arranged marriages but everything that generally comes along with it, is dangerous and harmful to both girls and boys. It's disgusting and it causes problems in their adult lives. Secret young men's groups for the the newlywed fundies to try and support each other as they've suddenly gone from "if you think about her pussy you're a monster" to "put a baby in that uterus, boy" and they feel dirty and ashamed. The same is for newlywed women, but I haven't heard about as many groups discussing this stuff. I'm sure some do but it seems more shameful for women to talk about sex.
