(March 23, 2015 at 4:12 pm)robvalue Wrote: I don't know whether this is relevant, but I don't fear death because I'm desperately depressed. I'd welcome it. I've wished that I'd get a terminal disease so that I could die and it wouldn't be my fault. I stay alive only because of what my death would do to others. It's very sad, but I crave death.
Been there, done that...but I forgot to get the t-shirt.
Just remind yourself that you don't actually crave death. You crave a stable life, and death appears to be the only viable alternative. Stability isn't entirely beyond your reach, however. As insurmountable as it seems, you can learn to manage your depression and live a relatively normal life.
I say this to you and anyone else reading, I am always open for a PM for anyone wanting to discuss this kind of stuff.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell