RE: Creed's Corner: A Collection of the Morbid, Mysterious, and Mrandom
March 24, 2015 at 11:47 am
(This post was last modified: March 24, 2015 at 11:47 am by Creed of Heresy.)
Time to use this thread as my little area for bitching.
Me and my girlfriend broke up on Friday. It had only lasted a couple months, but it's hitting me extremely hard.
See, this particular woman was my friend, and we'd been friends for around seven or eight years. I figured if anyone could tolerate being in a relationship with me, it would be someone who has known me for a long time and has tolerated being a friend with me. Quite amicably, too.
She knew all my personality flaws, all the things I know about that make things difficult; my quietness, my tendency to withdraw from others, especially towards someone I am in an amorous relationship with, at least at first. Told her I don't tend to call because I never know what to say. I don't know how to initiate conversation with others; I wasn't raised in an environment that was what I would call constructive towards building social skills. I'm not a participant in society; I'm an observer of it. I don't know what to do with people. I can interact with people....if they come to me. It's not a matter of confidence, it's a matter of competence. I'm not socially competent. I can listen better than almost anyone. But when it comes to talking, I have no idea what to do.
I told her I would try to work on that. I told her it would take some time, though. I told her it wasn't going to be immediate, that it wasn't something that just went away if I really, really gave it a lot of effort. It was something I would need her help with.
When I told her "it would take some time," I meant it would mean, at the very least, a year if she could help me. I think she heard "a couple months." We had "the talk" on Friday, and basically she told me she was fed up with my supposed "lack of attention." I'd tried. I'd started some conversations. I'd reached out to her. But whenever I did, she barely said anything. When I brought this up, she got pissed at me, saying it was because she wanted me to "say something other than what everyone else said." So I asked her what the fuck she wanted from me, and when you stripped away the increasingly hostile vitriol going back and forth, it basically boiled down to "I'm tired of waiting for you to improve, are you going to improve?" "I'm trying but you're not helping." "My dad has cancer and I need you to be more present." "I've said all the things I can think of to say, I follow the FB page you started to keep everyone updated on his health, I listen when you tell me about him, what do you want from me? You know what I am like, you knew when we started this, I told you, I warned you, I gave you every advance warning." "That was before my dad got cancer." "He had failing kidneys before and his health was already failing, his cancer hasn't spread to his lymph nodes, and he seems to be in good care, why does this change anything? I still don't know what the fuck to say, I told you I was going to struggle with that. You can reach out to me, you can talk to me, I'll listen, but I don't know what the fuck to say." "I told you I don't want to be the only one talking." "And I told you it would take a while before I got that fixed and that I needed your help to do it." "My ex from eight years ago is more present than you are." "Then go and get back with him."
It all went to hell from there. So, I broke up with my girlfriend of two months, and ended a friendship of eight years, and I was taught a valuable lesson...
No matter what people say, even if they are your closest friends, they never actually understand.
Me and my girlfriend broke up on Friday. It had only lasted a couple months, but it's hitting me extremely hard.
See, this particular woman was my friend, and we'd been friends for around seven or eight years. I figured if anyone could tolerate being in a relationship with me, it would be someone who has known me for a long time and has tolerated being a friend with me. Quite amicably, too.
She knew all my personality flaws, all the things I know about that make things difficult; my quietness, my tendency to withdraw from others, especially towards someone I am in an amorous relationship with, at least at first. Told her I don't tend to call because I never know what to say. I don't know how to initiate conversation with others; I wasn't raised in an environment that was what I would call constructive towards building social skills. I'm not a participant in society; I'm an observer of it. I don't know what to do with people. I can interact with people....if they come to me. It's not a matter of confidence, it's a matter of competence. I'm not socially competent. I can listen better than almost anyone. But when it comes to talking, I have no idea what to do.
I told her I would try to work on that. I told her it would take some time, though. I told her it wasn't going to be immediate, that it wasn't something that just went away if I really, really gave it a lot of effort. It was something I would need her help with.
When I told her "it would take some time," I meant it would mean, at the very least, a year if she could help me. I think she heard "a couple months." We had "the talk" on Friday, and basically she told me she was fed up with my supposed "lack of attention." I'd tried. I'd started some conversations. I'd reached out to her. But whenever I did, she barely said anything. When I brought this up, she got pissed at me, saying it was because she wanted me to "say something other than what everyone else said." So I asked her what the fuck she wanted from me, and when you stripped away the increasingly hostile vitriol going back and forth, it basically boiled down to "I'm tired of waiting for you to improve, are you going to improve?" "I'm trying but you're not helping." "My dad has cancer and I need you to be more present." "I've said all the things I can think of to say, I follow the FB page you started to keep everyone updated on his health, I listen when you tell me about him, what do you want from me? You know what I am like, you knew when we started this, I told you, I warned you, I gave you every advance warning." "That was before my dad got cancer." "He had failing kidneys before and his health was already failing, his cancer hasn't spread to his lymph nodes, and he seems to be in good care, why does this change anything? I still don't know what the fuck to say, I told you I was going to struggle with that. You can reach out to me, you can talk to me, I'll listen, but I don't know what the fuck to say." "I told you I don't want to be the only one talking." "And I told you it would take a while before I got that fixed and that I needed your help to do it." "My ex from eight years ago is more present than you are." "Then go and get back with him."
It all went to hell from there. So, I broke up with my girlfriend of two months, and ended a friendship of eight years, and I was taught a valuable lesson...
No matter what people say, even if they are your closest friends, they never actually understand.
