Being gay is a fetish.

[rexbeccarox]

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To the people I have offended with my post: abaris, thesummerqueen, One Above All, Kitan, and anyone else it offends in the future

I am truly sorry. The very last thing I wanted to do was offend the other gay people on this forum. It was incredibly stupid of me to post that sort of theory in the middle of a heated debate on the subject. It was meant as a stepping-stone to argument with Heywood; trying to find some common ground and showing that if there was any choice involved, as he claims, that it would be minimal at best and in any case uninformed.

I got defensive in my replies to your replies because I thought no-one was actually reading it properly, but fuck that, don't read it - it's a shitty theory and I'm sorry I even thought it up: I can find no conscious choice, whatsoever, in the development of my own sexuality. Being bisexual I can choose to look at gay porn or straight porn but that is the limit of my choice in the matter - it does not change my sexuality in the slightest or who I am attracted to and I did not mean to imply for a second that people could just change sexualities at the drop of a hat or choose to find someone attractive. I don't believe that at all.

Anyway I will not defend that theory and will direct future replies to it to this apology. Please forgive me.

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I think I understood what you were trying to say.  I'm also bi, but I live as if I were straight.  I've molded myself into only dating men, even though I am still very attracted to women.  It's just easier that way.  I think because it's a spectrum, people who are toward the middle of the line sort of do have their choice in the matter; at least as far as acting on it goes.  


I do, however, find it disgusting when people spout, "homosexuality is a choice!" as if, if true, it should have any bearing on whether consenting adults can carry on a relationship together in whatever capacity works for them.